When Vita met Evelyn: Vita Sackville-West & Evelyn Irons – a brief affair a lifelong friendship
In 1931 Evelyn Irons was 30 years old and on the cusp of many
exciting achievements and adventures. She was a London journalist with the Daily
Mail, and a lesbian in a relationship with budding artist Olive Rinder. Evelyn
and Olive lived together in Evelyn’s flat. They kept their relationship secret
of course, beyond their inner circle, though sometimes Evelyn joked that she
wanted to announce her proclivities in The Times! Evelyn was handsome, Scottish,
and a graduate of Somerville College, Oxford. Evelyn looked striking whether in
stylish tweeds or a well-cut evening gown, especially as she wore her hair very
short, giving her an androgynous edge. She was keen to establish herself as a
serious journalist but, unsurprisingly for the times, had been sidelined to the
Women’s Page to write about recipes and fashion (of which she professed to know
very little). One day Evelyn was sent to interview the author and poet Vita
Sackville-West – and in a matter of days they became lovers.
Vita and her
husband Harold Nicolson were both queer, they loved each other and accepted
their partner’s extramarital relationships, even discussing them and supporting
each other when such relationships went awry. But in this instance, Vita kept
her new passion for Evelyn secret. Vita was supposed to be giving herself a
break from clandestine romance, things had been hectic and messy with
innumerable ‘scrapes’ (as Vita called them). Harold only knew about some of
these, even so, he advised a period of calm while they were busy with their new
home, a beautiful ruin called Sissinghurst in Kent. And Vita had been calm, as
in restrained, until the fateful interview with young journalist Evelyn Irons.
It was Evelyn who made the first move, not expecting it to be reciprocated. But
the heat was on. Vita kept it secret from Harold, but Evelyn was honest. She
told Olive what was happening. Somewhat surprisingly, Olive was generous and
even encouraging of the affair. So the passion sizzled. The ‘situation’ appeared
excitingly manageable – until Olive fell in love with Vita too …
Vita could
rarely resist the overtures of a besotted and somewhat vulnerable young woman
and succumbed… What Evelyn thought of this is uncertain, but she could hardly
complain! (How Vita found the time to write books, poems, articles and oversee
the establishment of Sissinghurst as well as be the mother of two boys and
conduct numerous affairs – is beyond me!). Talk about complicated – all three
went on holiday together – unbeknownst to Harold who thought Vita was taking
some time away to be ‘calm’. But no, Vita was doing an almighty balancing trick
which soon tumbled to the ground. The holiday was a disaster. All three were
miserable, yet so in love.
Post-holiday the balancing act continued, letters and
telegrams flitted between them to the extent that Vita wrote to Evelyn: ‘Our
correspondence is degenerating into a mere calendar of assignations … inevitable
I suppose’. Clandestine meetings were conducted two by two from then on. For
Evelyn and Olive it was frustrating and painful – as well as volatile and
passionate; for Vita it was horrendously difficult yet it was also the kind of
excitement on which she thrived.
The arrangement (or lack thereof) went on for weeks
into months, but then in July 1932 Evelyn went to a party and fell instantly in
love with the woman she would spend the rest of her life with: Joy McSweeney, a
fellow journalist. Evelyn kept this new development from Vita initially, finding
it convenient to encourage Vita and Olive to spend the weekend together. But
Vita was no fool and sensed something in the breeze. ‘Darling, What is this
mysterious expedition that has taken you away for the weekend? I have a feeling
that something is afoot.’ Evelyn responded by telling her the truth – or at
least, what she knew of the truth so far: that she was deeply in love with Joy
McSweeney.
Vita wrote to Evelyn: ‘I feel physically sick from conflicting
emotions … Another thing is that I never ceased to love you, - and haven’t now,
- and am more than ever convinced that it is possible to love two people’. But
Evelyn would not be pulled back. It was over, not only with Vita but with Olive
too. Olive had to move out of Evelyn’s flat because Joy McSweeney was moving in.
To give her credit, Vita looked after Olive and found her a bungalow near
Sissinghurst and supported her financially. But Olive was a broken woman. Even
Harold, who knew little about the whole affair, felt concern for the young
woman, calling her a ‘poor wounded little chaffinch’.
Evelyn Irons was the
first, and possibly only woman to end an affair with Vita first. It surprised
and upset Vita very much. She wrote a poem about it and mailed it to Miss Evelyn
Irons, care of the Daily Mail, marked ‘personal’. Here’s the first verse:
Do not
forget, my Dear, that once we loved.
Remember only, free of stain or smutch,
That passion once went naked and ungloved,
And that your flesh was startled by
my touch.
And the final two lines are:
Pass from my heart towards the heart of
others,
But in your passing, half-remember me.
Evelyn did remember Vita, and
they sustained their friendship for the rest of their lives. What happened to
Olive I’m not sure, though Vita was still providing her with a bungalow and
financial support in 1933 – and, given that Vita was deeply loyal as well as
flawed, this likely continued.
Evelyn Irons went on to live an extraordinary
adventurous life, not least as a war correspondent in the field during WW2 – but
that’s a long story for another time.
Evelyn Irons, 1900-2000. Vita
Sackville-West, 1892-1962).
All quotes from Vita, The Life of V. Sackville-West
by Victoria Glendinning, Penguin Books, 1984, Chapter 22.
Above pic is of Evelyn Irons from:
https://www.amazon.com.au/Secretive-Life-Sara-Hardy-ebook/dp/B09DKLSH93
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